Not quite there yet?

This is a transcript of an embarrassing conversation that took place during my CNA training course. I remembered it today and felt it would be something worth sharing. Hope you get a laugh at my expense. 🙂 If you need help picturing the look/persona of my instructor, picture Dr. Miranda Bailey from the TV show Grey’s Anatomy. Almost exactly like her I swear. It’s scary!

Instructor: Okay guys. You all have your PPE equipment in front of you right? Gloves, goggles, gown?

Class: Yes!

Instructor: You can begin by putting on the gloves.

[Classmates and I all put on our gloves]

Instructor: Alright, good. You can all put on the gowns now. We’ll skip the goggles. Open up your gowns without touching the outside surface and tie up the neck ties and the waist ties being sure to tuck the gown properly.

[Classmates start to open their gowns up and I do the same. We all place our arms in the sleeves and pull the gowns on properly. This is where things start to go wrong.]

Me [standing somewhat awkwardly looking back and forth between classmates]: Uhhh…. (yes, I’m that articulate. :P)

Instructor: What’s the problem?

Me: It’s my ties. I thought that we were supposed to tie each others gowns up.

Instructor: What are you talking about?

Me: But in the OR the surgeons all have their ties tied by someone else.

Instructor: Are you a surgeon yet?

Me: No.

Instructor: Well, until then you will tie your own ties then won’t you?!

Me: Yes ma’am!

I then proceeded to fumble around and tie my ties with the rest of the class, now done, watching. I was also the one chosen ‘at random’ to be inspected by the instructor to make sure it was done right. It was by the way. Perfectly! 😉

Related Articles

• Things My CNA Teacher Says
• CNA Written Exam
• CNA Practicals
• CNA Class Finished!

 

CNA Written Exam

Took my state’s written exam for CNA certification this morning. The exam was no sweat. Got a total of 3 questions wrong, and finished in about 20 minutes. Booya! I am now a certified hiney sanitation engineer nurses assistant! 😀 Looking forward to finally getting a job. Because I hate being broke and what not…you know how it is. Cheers everyone!

 

CNA Practicals

The results are in! I passed the practical, skills-based, test for the state CNA certification. Onward now to the written exam to take place in March*. Now if only my MCAT scores would get here quicker I could finally rest easy. 🙂 Next update will be with the MCAT results and the fallout that will occur for better or worse. March 1st can’t come soon enough!

*News Update! This just in! Written exam scheduled for tomorrow morning! Le gasp! Too many exclamation points!

 

CNA Class Finished!

 

My last CNA class was this week! 🙂 That wraps up the seven week course in basic skills and knowledge of a CNA. I’ve learned a lot of useful things in this course, even though I think the teacher was a bit batty at times. The course did a few things for me that made it worth it. First, it taught me a lot of basic skills for assessing a patient and what to watch for if a patient’s health takes a turn for the worse. Second, it taught me how to listen and talk to my patients(yes…even the demented ones) to connect with them and find out things that a standard history might miss. While I did enjoy interacting with the patients, I wasn’t the best at it. I suppose that will get better with time. 🙂

Most importantly, I think this course and, in the future, this job as a CNA has given me a look into the world of nurses. I think my time as a CNA can only benefit me and allow me to have better relationships with the nurses that I come in contact with. If nothing else, I will be able to see things from both sides of the divide, and maybe work to bring the two together. Because when it comes down to it, both sides are here to serve the patients albeit in different ways. Now I just need to pass my state skills test and written test to be officially certified to work.

 

Things My CNA Teacher Says

In the last 2 weeks of class for CNA training I have observed some strange, half-truths, and downright wrong things that have come out of the teacher’s mouth. I have begun writing them down as I hear them in a separate side column. Here is a list of some of the things she has said:

The Strange:

• Sex is something even older people enjoy you just need to make sure you knock before entering a patient’s room. Of course, they might not have the greatest hearing, fail to know you’re knocking, and keep right on going!
• You will develop an iron stomach from this job.  You will see people at their worst moments. You will have to clean up someone’s feces and keep a smile.
• Don’t use a restraint on patients, physical or chemical, unless it’s absolutely necessary. (I asked her what we do if a patient becomes violent.) Try other things to calm them down like moving them somewhere else. (But I don’t want to get hit/clawed/bitten while moving Mr. Jenkins down the hall just to give him a change of scenery.)

 

The Half-truths:

• Cells and your body can repair and heal itself (True), so there’s no reason for us to have failing health as we get older.
• The cure for cancer has been worked on for so long and a cure still hasn’t been found.(True.) That’s because it’s a big money-maker? (Ehh? Cancer research is a big money maker? Why wasn’t I told?! Who’s making the money? The big pharmas pouring money into research with no returns or maybe it’s the academic researchers scraping by in lab with minimum funding?)

 

CNA Class – First Day

We apologize for the interruption…

First CNA class was yesterday. I didn’t write anything up because I was(read: still am) felling super sick. The medicine is helping me function today though. yay medicine. Class seems like it’ll be interesting learning the different skills needed to be a CNA. I think I’ll be pretty much bored to tears for the lecture based part though. Most of this stuff is basic(and I mean basic!) anatomy, physiology, and first aid stuff from what I’ve seen. Who knows…maybe I’ll be surprised. I hope I am!

The clinical part should be fun. It involves our little class of 9-10 people going to a local nursing home and ‘practicing the skills we’ve learned’ on the residents. I feel for those patients. It starts a week later though after we’ve gotten a few classes under our scrubs. 😛 I’m the only guy in the class too! I stand out far more than I’m used to, but it’ll be good for me to get out of my comfort zone.